Just Some Deep Thinking

I seem to be lacking motivation... I never seem to want to do anything. I mean I'm eighteen but I don't have a drivers licence, I hardly ever get all my homework done on time, and I don't want to go to a concert. The only thing that motivates me to go to work is because I get paid. I know that doing my homework pays in the long run, but that doesn't seem to get me to change my behavior. I don't even know why I'm writing this.
I seem to be missing something big... Oh yeah... Seeking to glorify God in everything that I do... *sigh*... then of course this has to include dying to myself and my own glory and satisfaction... But I like bringing satisfaction to myself; sleeping in, procrastinating, taking naps, hanging out with friends, staying up late, playing Settlers, etc, etc... These things make me so happy, why would I want to do anything else... Well they don't exactly pay the bills (not that I have many of those yet). They also don't last very long. Shoot, I'm already eighteen. I can show you plenty of examples in my life of "joys" that have worn themselves out. I don't find nearly as much pleasure in sucking my thumb as I used to.... So either I'm going to have to constantly try to find new things to satisfy myself, or I'm going to have to find the strength to be content with what I have... How could I ever be strong enough to keep from procrastinating. I'm constantly wanting to not do whatever it is i'm supposed to be doing. For example... THIS POST... I don't have a blog post written in my homework assignment. However here I am, during the hour and a half I've set aside for English homework, writing a blog. I am at this moment lacking the power to keep myself on track. How do I get that power? What will motivate me to get the work I'm supposed to do done.
Well being a good christian boy (or man or whatever I am), I should just ask God for the strength and be done with it. Easy as that.... Oh wait I tried that before didn't I? Hmmm... Why didn't it work. I know God can give me anything. Why is he keeping me from succeeding in my life?.. Could it possibly be that I don't have enough faith? Maybe I just didn't believe enough... OR, it could be that I want Gods power, but I don't care about him at all in the situation-*gasp*- NO, not good little me. God is always the center of my life! You can tell by... all the good things I do... like... procrastinate... work only for my own satisfaction... make my parents and friends drive me around cause I'm too lazy to drive myself...
It looks to me like I'm not bearing any good fruit. Yeah sure there's a little grape I like to call not cussing. There's some real fruit. But is it for God that I don't cuss, or party, or smoke, or drink... "Well when you make him Lord of your life this stuff is easy to conquer"... Maybe. However it's also easy to stay out of all that when you can't drive to the party, you can't say those words cause most of the people you talk to are christian, you can't smoke because your parents would find out and make you feel bad about it... These are very selfish reasons that have nothing to do with God. They are plenty motivation to stay out of that garbage. But what about my mind? Who sees where that goes? Well there's God. But judging by the past paragraph I don't really care what he thinks, all I want from him is power to become successful. And I ask why he won't give it to me. Hmmm... Well lets go back to plan A. God says (in the bible) that we are created to be in fellowship with him and work. Well I'm trying to get the working part down. The first part though is unimportant. I mean how could fellowship have a hand in receiving help from God? How could seeking his glory have a hand in giving me success? How can being humbled and dying to myself possibly bring me satisfaction? Where is the joy in giving my life to Christ?..
Basically what this all comes down to is me wanting my own glory. But God doesn't work for me. God doesn't seek my glory. He doesn't want me to be empowered to do my will. He works for Himself. He seeks his glory first. He wants me to be empowered to do his will. AGH!! I'm out of time! okay really quick here. God will never glorify me. I need to glorify Him. I have to seek to satisfy His desires. I have to make what He wants what I want. only then will he lend me his power. I will be successful in all I do because it will be him doing the work. Not to say I just sit back and watch him. But true satisfaction can be had when my goal is to worship him in all I do. No I'm not perfect. I'm probably going to sin at some point in my future. However I'm looking forward to bearing some real fruit. Not for my enjoyment. For Gods....

I'm sorry this is so all over the place. I didn't have time to organize anything, I kinda just started writing and didn't stop until my time was up. Anyway I hope this makes you think about what motivates you. Do you do what you do becouse of people around you. Or is it genuinely coming from a desire to have God first in your life? I'm done now...ish

Oops I Procrastinated Again

This week I was supposed to write two blogs, but I procrastinated. I planned on doing my blog posts in the extra time provided by presidents day. My boss had told me I technically had the day off and apparently it's a school holiday too. I was supposed to have time to write fifty blogs.

But yesterday at church my boss asked me if I could come to work anyway for a couple hours. I said yes, knowing how stupid it would be to turn down a chance at getting paid real money. I slept in a little because my boss wanted me to come a little late (due to the holiday). I got dressed for work, grabbed a water bottle, ate some oatmeal, and jumped in my dad's truck for a ride to the shop. I spent the next four hours sandblasting, sweeping, blowing, washing, lifting, wrenching, sorting, searching, and driving all over the shop where I work. While I was sandblasting the handle of a vise on a saw I got a call from my boss's neighbor. Then I realized that I had agreed to do some yard work for them on Friday. I said I was sorry (multiple times) and that I could do the work right after I was done at the shop. when I finished my boss was already going home for lunch so I got a ride back with him. The next two and one half hours were spent getting introduced to my customers and their yard, and mowing, weed whacking, raking, and sweeping. then during the process of getting a ride home from my mom I came across a text from my youth pastor telling me that the some people are getting together to play some softball at 4:00. So I decided to go straight there from my boss's neighbor's house. 

Now mind you I haven't eaten sense breakfast and it's now 3:30. I don't do well without lunch. In fact after a day full of activity I tend to get a little hungry. So you can understand my thankfulness when my mom brought me an apple some cheese and the end of a loaf of bread. Not one bite of that meal made it to the park. It actually didn't even make it half way. But anyway the next two hours of my day were spent running, catching, bating, throwing, and failing at softball. 

Then finally I got to go home. My mom had made... some food, I made a salad and at last I got to eat my dinner. After that I helped wash some dishes, made some smoothies, and watched a movie. It was around 10:00 when the movie was over so I decided to go to bed (I don't do well without at least eight hours of sleep). 

This morning I woke up and it wasn't Monday any more. In fact the day had officially changed at midnight to Tuesday. I realized I hadn't done any school and that two blogs were due for my English class. Alas now I only have time for this one... ish

playing with my phone

I just got a new phone. No it's not an iPhone. IPhones are too expensive per month. I've been doing a lot this month, for example I just got my permit. The mailman was also at the DMV. But he was just delivering mail. I usually see the mailman (not the one from the DMV) on my way home from work. At least when I ride my bike. Not my motorbike I don't have a license for that yet. Or a helmet. The helmet is for protecting my head. After all my head is one of the most valuable parts of my body. That and my heart. Gotta take care of that thing. Nobody wants heart problems. Though our diets prove otherwise. But no worries there's always intrusive surgery and side effect producing drugs. But only for half of you who end up with coronary issues. The rest of you will die of a heart attack before you notice any other symptoms. The good news is... Um...So how about them 49ers. Oh wait sore subject at the moment. It's harder to be uplifting than it looks. Though some people make it look uber easy. Have you ever met Rhonda Stopie... Stopppie Stopy... Spelling isn my strongest point. Oh wait watch this... Okay never mind. I don't get how this works-wait it worked! My phone is so smart. Looking back now I can see a few typos. But you know I'll just have to deal with them later or never. Um the rest of this blog post will be the voice ... Something... With my phones speaker because, you know, it's so much more convenient than just typing the words out. so that's what we're going to do from now on. because my phone is so smart, you know, that I was talking about earlier. anyway... so I went to work today. Got a lot of stuff done. unloaded the car that I went to go get earlier this week down south. I wonder if my phone would make a. When I say. Or a doc when I say dot. Ooo cool it worked well not for dot and they turn my dog into dog at that 1 spot that's kinda weird. and now it's a dog. I'm getting kind of annoyed but they're not making the first letter of the sentence a capital. they keep replacing the word but with the word that. I guess I just have to enunciate more. but for the most part it's actually pretty cool that I can just talk to my phone and it does my homework for me. oh wait a blog wasn't required for this week was it... then I guess I'm just wasting time but that works too. the downside to talking to my phone and having it right for me, is it the fact that the music stops every time I press the button. did I not mention I was listening to music, well I am. you're listening to me talking right now, you would probably be laughing at me. And that would be because I have to say,.,. And stuff like that while I'm talking. which is just kinda awkward. don't worry Joe I won't do this often, um I just thought it might be fun to play with my phone. but I won't be talking this conversationly in all my blog posts. I'll make them much more interesting. I mean, when you talk it's a lot different than when you write... I find myself talking more and more like John Green when I do English homework... and I have noticed this because I haven't been talking while doing my English homework. I've been writing and typing and all that , but I haven't been talking. unless Im talking to somebody else. well I guess sometimes I talk to my homework.
mostly just when I'm really bored, or angry. sometimes you just make a video of myself talking. this is kind of fun I can understand why people do this all the time. this is probably 1 of the most random posts I've ever made. I'm yelling right now but you get tell because I don't be gay. haha okay I'm not editing that last sentence. it's just too interesting. okay babe I gotta move on. babe ?!?!?! what! where does it get these words I mean ... what! this is the kind of fun , but funny and weird at the same time... sorry everyone, I'm in serious need of a nap right now... Dish add replace my ish with a dish ... Ish

Oh Wow... Bringing out the Oldies

This is old 5 paragraph essay I wrote for my sister (my English teacher at the time). I want so badly to fix some stuff on it but I must refrain so that you all can see exactly how far I have come sense 2008. I apologize  for the 784 times I use the word "way". And I noticed throughout this paper I often play the role of captain obvious (not a super hero). Also my opinion of rich superheros has changed. I mean some people don't have powers and money is all they can work with... I accept that now.

Spiderman is Way Better than Superman 

          There are many different types of superheros. Some have lots of powers, some are just extremely rich and they buy their powers (That's cheating). many of them are cooler than others. But I'll just talk about Spiderman and Superman. Some people may think that Superman is better but he is not and I will prove it in this essay. In this paper I will confirm that Spiderman is better than superman by discussing there super suit, the villains they fight and their powers.

          They both have super-de-duper suits but Spiderman's is better, becouse it looks way better. For example, Spiderman's suit is a better color and I would rather Spiderman's suit than Superman's. "No Capes!" Spiderman does not have to worry about a cape. What if Superman was getting dressed in a telephone booth and could not find his cape? What if someone saw him half dressed? His identity would be found out. Superman doesn't have a very good disguise. Michelle Michell said "when did glasses make a good disguies. someone should have figured out by now that with glasses he's Clark Kent, without glasses he's superman Even Lois couldn't be that stupid." And Spiderman dos not put his underwear over his suit. Every hero needs a super suit and Superman has a really lame one.
          All hero's have to fight some villains. Superman usually has mortal enemies. Unlike Spiderman who usually fights villains that have as much power as him. The villains in Spiderman have way better suits, and better weapons. The villains in Superman don't have suits. And the bad guys in Spiderman either have awesome Weapons (like the hover board) or they don't need weapons (kind of like Venom).Michelle Michell said "Lex Luther Buys his power (remember "that's cheating"). Spiderman's vilains have better moves. And Spiderman's enemies are way smarter. The green goblin is really a mad scientist, and his son is not so mad but he is a scientist. And so is doctor-octopus. Every hero has an enemy and Spiderman's are better.
          Superman has way to many powers. He is almost invincible, he has x-ray vision, he can lift anything, he can fly, he can make time go back, he can hear from miles away and the list goes on. But Spiderman, he has spider webs and spider senses. He can work with those and get a super hero. Superman is an alien therefore he is not super-MAN he is just ordinary alien. but Spiderman he is spider-man, Spiderman had to figure out his powers. But Superman was born with powers. It's too easy for Superman.
          Now you see why Spiderman is way better than Superman. Spiderman's suit is better because he does not have a cape and he wears his underwear inside his suit. The villains in Spiderman are better because they have better suits, they are smarter and stronger. And Spiderman works harder because he has fewer powers to work with. Spiderman is way better than Superman!

So that's it. I guess I had the main gist of it. I obviously didn't know a lot about spiderman or superman but I did know who was better... ish