Breakfast?

When I woke this morning I wanted nothing but to eat breakfast. I climbed out of bed, my empty stomach growling at me, and quickly turned on the light. It felt as though my chest would fall into my stomach for lack of support as I got dressed. Soon I was crawling into the kitchen in search of something to satisfy my cravings. As I looked through the glorious refrigerator I found it was filled only with green. I slumped. There seemed to be no edible food in the beautifully cold container. I was going to resort to dying hungry and miserable.

Alas as I lay on the kitchen floor I looked to the counter and I saw an egg carton. My hope of survival was restored. I climbed up the counter (my legs still didn't seem to work) and opened the carton. as I lifted the styrofoam  top I knew I would never forget the sight of those two copper colored spheres. I grasped them in both my hands careful not to drop their golden contents all over the floor. I slowly walked to the stove and placed the bronze jewels next to the pan. I could already feel my strength returning as I turned the stove to medium heat.

Soon the coal black cast iron pan was hot and ready for butter. But I panicked. Did we have any butter? My stomach jumped at the though of my beautiful eggs all stuck and burnt in the pan. I looked around frantically for the soft white fat. I found the cardiac hazard sitting next to the toaster. Next thing I knew I was chopping at the block of white heaven with a hot knife. It cut like butter with a hot knife... obviously... and all of a sudden I was melting the glorious dairy produce over the dark pan.

It was time for breaking the eggs. I mentally thanked the chicken who donated it's would be children to my apatite as I cracked the first victim over the hot buttered pan. Then the second. I screamed in terror as I realized I had failed in the delicate task of egg cracking. Under the already whitening egg sat a dark brown piece of shell. I quickly reached down ignoring the burns at the tips of my fingers and picked out the intruder.

At last the shell was out! Next I was cleaning my scalded fingers in the sink. As I dried them on a clean rag I remembered the eggs I had started cooking so long ago. I ran, it seamed for hours, across the kitchen to the stove. All I could think of as I ran was what would happen if I was to late. Would my meal be ruined? would I have to die hungry after all? These questions haunted me until I found that my eggs were perfectly fine. All they needed was some salt and pepper, and to be flipped over. Once that was done I sliced some bread and placed the crummy goodness into the toaster. By this time I had learned my lesson and I quickly returned to my cooking.

The white and yellow circles were so lovely as I carefully placed them on my pink plastic plate,drizzled the excess butter over them, and retrieved a fork from the drawer of silverware. but they were much less beautiful as I shoved them down my throat and into my now not so empty stomach. I finished them and was momentarily saddened by the thought that they were gone. Until the toast I had started leaped into the air from the toaster and landed on my plate. I completely forgot about the eggs as I frosted the two golden bricks in butter and inhaled them with ease. I finished eating and realized I had made a horrible mess. So I sneaked away from the scene of the crime and pretended to look busy with educating myself in the arts of graphing quadratic functions.

THE END... or should I say THE BEGINNING...

"Stay tuned to read the story of Bends Lunch!... or not."