Why do Chickens Have to Poop?

Just kidding! I'm not going to talk about C.hocolate R.aisins A.nd P.eanuts. Actually I was just trying to weed out the Bloggers who don't care what I have to say. Okay not true that wasn't my original intent, but if it works out that way, fine with me.
What I really want to blog about is kinda a continuation of the last two posts. Life is busy, responsibility is hard, and all God wants out of me is constant praise and worship and glory... wait what was that?... Praise, worship, and glory... Hmm, is that all? My father believes otherwise.... I've decided I do also... now that it has been brought to my attention. For the longest time I thought that God made me for one purpose: to glorify him with my life... I wholeheartedly believe that I was made go glorify God, BUT that's not all God wants from me. He made me so that I would seek to have a relationship with Him... I've heard it sense before I was a kid, but I have never fully understood it. So do yourself a favor and understand that while God wants to be your Lord and Master, He also wants to be your friend.
I know really really really corny sounding, but so true. No God doesn't want to be on your FB friends list. He doesn't want you to have his App. God isn't a convenience. That's why I hardly ever use the Bible App. I don't want God in my pocket, so that I can pull him out when I want him. I want to know him and have him in my heart.
Take your best friend for example. If someone asked you what your friend wants for their birthday you'd probably know. If you made dinner for your friend you'd probably know what they'd like to eat. If you were picking out a clothing item for your friend you'd probably know what color they'd want it to be. I want that kind of relationship with God. I want to KNOW him. Not to be a worship robot. If God wanted a robot He'd have made one. However he didn't he made man in his image with a free will. He didn't want me to worship him because He told me to and I had to. He wants to tell me to worship him and then let me choose to do it for myself. He made me so that he could have fellowship with me. Not just normal fellowship, though. He wants perfect fellowship with me. Oneness. His Spirit came to live in me when I was saved, so that God and I could be connected intimately.
I got to ride my motorcycle today.
He is constantly seeking a relationship with me. He is a completely faithful being. I may not respond to his desire for me, but that will never change how he feels. I always want to be relating with stuff. I'm so distracted by the things of this world. I seek things that do not comply with Gods holiness. Thus I'm not only ignoring God, but I am making him my enemy. The separation is my choice and my doing. God must withhold glory and satisfaction from those who don't even seek a relationship with him. I could try to glorify God without actually loving him. I could do good deeds. However without love, these works count as nothing. I could do them for God. I could make my boss's shop look really clean. I could make sure everyone knows that his shop is spotless. I could make his company look really good. I could bring him glory with my work. I don't have to like him. I don't have to care about his life. All I have to do is work for my $10/hour and make my boss look as neat as possible.
Same thing with God. I could do what the Bible says. I could be a good example of a christian. I could seek God's glory. However if I only seek His glory so that I can be satisfied or even free from sin, then I'm missing out on everything.
God doesn't want a glory machine. He wants his creation to choose to love him. Seriously love him. Not just love what he does for me. But love him like he loves me. Because he loved me first. God doesn't love me for all the glory he can get out of me. It's not the benefits that I bring that attract his affection. He loves me unconditionally. I could never earn his love. The only way I could possibly receive it is if it is given freely. Then it's all up to me to return with love. He is always holding up his half of the relationship, I just have to get my half together... You can't really measure it by halves can you? Gods part is a lot bigger than mine... I't's getting late and I have homework to do. I could probably talk about this forever.
Anyway it turns out they don't use all the food they eat to live. Some of the waste must be digested and expelled. Thus we have chicken poop... ish

Yes I'm 18

"Oh, you had a birthday? how did you turn?"

"18"

" So now your an adult. Does it feel any different?" 

"No...Yes...ish"

What do you mean do I feel any different. No I don't have back pain. no I don't crave strange foods. No I'm not any more or less interested in the opposite sex. However I'm under a whole new amount of pressure. I have to get a licence. I have to make money. I have to finish high school. I have to write this post before Sunday. Then there's always the hope of a rest... when I'm 75 years old and retired. That is if I make enough money to retire, and assuming I live to 75. Chances are I'll die of cancer or a car accident or heart disease before 45. 

No I didn't physically change from January 13th to January 14. At least not much. However I do have a sense of responsibility that I'm not excited about. "Oh but being an adult is so much better"... Yeah you have fun backing that one up. Sometimes I just want to go to sleep and wake up with all my work done. Alas that never works. In fact I tend to wake up with more work than when I started. 

I used to look forward to summer. I still do.

Who's idea was the triangle. They should be shot. The dust that used to make up their body should be...(face turning red, ears beginning to steam)... Thrown into a light summer breeze! (deep inhalation) Yeah... Thrown into the wind. Never again able to torture society with the hidden complexities of three sides and three angles. 

If you haven't noticed my brain travels when I give it time to think. It doesn't mill over one subject. It starts somewhere and goes off to who-knows-where. For example the last five minutes of my day were not spent writing the last few sentences. Right after "who-knows-where" I remembered that I just downloaded skype to my phone. Turns out in order to get into my account I have to remember my password. Sense when do yo actually have to know your password? I thought computers were supposed to be convenient. Anyway...

So yeah, responsibility. What happened to being done with school at 12:00. What happened to  the days I would wake up at 5:00 and finish my school before breakfast. Then I could spend all day outside playing with sticks and jumping on the trampoline and playing computer games and building lego castles and all the best things in life. Now people expect me to be different. I'm not supposed to enjoy running around whacking people with sword-like objects. I'm not supposed to like making little airplanes and buildings out of little building blocks just so that I can destroy them again. sometimes I envy the creators of Godzilla.  

They expect me to just put away childlike things and become a man. Well, being a kid, all men seem to have time for is work. Sigh. Being a man doesn't look fun. Being mature sounds hard. And no I don't like a challenge... Unless it has to do with settling small hexagonal islands.

Then you are all the sudden an adult, a man. You are either mature or a failure. Your either working or dying.  Your either contracting "you are" correctly or you're uneducated. Life just doesn't stop coming at you... I could do it. I could work from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm like my dad. I could wake up at 5:00 so that I have time to be in the word. I could be a mature man. BUT I DON"T FEEL LIKE IT! I'd much rather sleep til 7:00, start school at 9:00 and be done at 12:00, spend all afternoon on the computer or playing with me younger brothers. Maybe even pick a chore off the list I have and do it. Then if I get a chance I'll take a nap and have a weird/cool/amazing/new/interesting/thought provoking dream. After that I'll expect a ride to a friend's house where I will enjoy the time I was supposed to spend sleeping hanging out with the people I love. Then I'll go home and sleep some more. That sounds like much more fun. However I can't imagine doing that same thing when I'm 35. Living with my parents, getting them to drive me around, working 10 hours a week so that I can buy toys for myself. What an empty life... how pathetic would that be.

"So how old are you"

"I'm 23" 

"What school do you go to?" 

"I graduated."

"Oh really? from where?"

"CWCS"

"High school?"

"Yeah... I'm planning on going to MJC when I grow up."

(sigh) I guess if I'm going to grow up it should be soon... tomorrow maybe. I'm going to go read my last post now... Well believe it or not this took an hour and a half to write. Yes, I'm 18. Yes, life is changing fast. Yes, I plan to step it up. No I don't want to stay a kid forever. I want to want to glorify God with my life. I want to be mature. I want to move out. I want to start a family. I want to go to school and get a good education. I want to have a good job that can support my family without everyone worrying about weather or not we will be able to pay our bills. I want but I can't have unless I find motivation and actually change the way I treat life... 

"Excuse me, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?" I could do some really close reading on that line... ish.